The doctors surgery

Yep, Laxido orange...

The Lone Ranger wrote:Yep, Laxido orange...

Its the future

I gave Janet one to try Poor bitch lost 2 stone in about an hour 

I have a cold, runny nose and cough. Its either down to the plane I was on last Tuesday or Kev gave me his chest infection. Don't stop me working though.

Real man, not one of these pony tailed ponces

Self employed don't get sick pay. Kev was still out doing his sausage deliveries though. His car is a bit sick too. I was going to suggest driving it GENTLY but didn't waste my breath........ 

So As said yesterday I had to be up at silly o'clock this morning, 08:25 hospital appointment  for my long awaited scan, there are two hospitals reasonably close to where I live, but no my appointments at one on the other side of the planet, sat nav says half a hour, but at that time of the morning no way, we gave ourselves a hour, and we needed it, got there exactly on time, when I say we, I mean Annie, she offered to give me a lift as it would have taken hours to get there by public transport or a small fortune in a taxi, was told to allow 45 minutes for appointment, so all going to plan we should have been leaving hospital 09:10, Annie's boss knew of situation and was expecting her in late...
So I'm lead to the CT scan waiting room, there are two people there, I just get sat down and my names called, guy takes me in to a small room, says he's got to go through a questionnaire with me before the scan, there's about ten questions on the sheet, you got a pacemaker, no, you got any metal plates in you, no, you got any body jewellery, no, etc, etc, then, you ever had anything metal in your eye, yip,,, he wants story, I'm hammering a piece of metal, small shard of it 16th of an inch flies off and in to my eye, I could see it sticking in my eye but could not flick it out with a tissue, I go to local optician to see if he can get it out, but no it's well stuck in, he sends me to eye hospital, but on way there I feel the bit of metal come out due to my eye blinking, I still go to the eye hospital as my eyes a bit sore, they extensively check my eye out, no trace of the bit of metal, and send me off with an eye patch and some ointment,,, the guy notes all this down, I also explain this was over thirty years ago, off he disappears with his bit of paper, five/ten minutes later he arrives back, " we can't carry out your scan today, we can't  find any record of the metal in your eye, and until we do we can't do the scan",,, I didn't even count to ten,"this was over thirty years ago" I blast out,"I've had no trouble with my eye, I almost didn't go to the eye hospital as I felt the bit of metal come out of my eye",,, but no, if he don't have proof it ain't there the scan ain't happening, "it's protocol" he says,,, Protocol I say, No, it's a waste of your and my time, there ain't no bit of metal in my eye, I've waited four and a half months  for this appointment, go to all the trouble of getting here to be told it's not happening because of an answer on your questionnaire, why not send your questionnaire out with the appointment letter and ask people to contact you if any of the questions apply to them,,, save everyone a lot of time that wouldn't it,,, "Oh, and I'm not leaving until I've seen the department manager"...
So off he trots and comes back with this female, she starts to explain why they can't do scan, I stop her, I say I fully understand  the technical reasons, but there ain't a piece of metal in my eye,,, She says she needs to get proof, I say and what are the chances of that if it don't appear on your system now,,, it was over thirty years ago in Scotland,,, and by the way I've been here before with this medical record thing, had a sinus operation in Manchester a few years back, after operation surgeon says to me "have you had your sinus cartilage removed", yip I say, some years back in Edinburgh, "Oh, that's what we were going to do today",,,,, So what happens if your records don't come up with the metal in eye bit,,, "We'll send you an appointment to come and have your eyes x-rayed",,, so I've wanted four and a half months for this scan, and now I'm going to have to wait even longer cos your records are screwed up,,, I've just walked through the x-ray department to get here, do it now I say,,, Ah, she says, we'd have to get a doctor to look at them,,,,, I say ("with a bit of a look"), This Is A Hospital......
I'm taken to the x-ray department,,, very short wait and I'm in getting x-ray, I'm taken back to CT scan unit, waiting room has about twenty people in it now, shit I think, I'll be at the back of the queue after pissing them off, but no, I'm taken first..
They must have thought lets get rid of this big scots git,,, was out of there by 09:30, twenty minutes longer than expected, result...

Well done Adam Its so bleeding simple to sort things out but they do like to make it hard,
I wonder what is wrong with the NHS   :  confused  :   Feck me stiff and call me starch 

Took Val down to our medical centre, the convent as I call it ,not a single male doctor in the three practices that use the centre, car park is full to bursting thank god we were just dropping off a repeat prescription, Val came out ,"there are no patients to be seen in the whole place" says she, W T F are all the cars in the car park then, bloody staff that's what , it's the same when I nip down to collect her prescription , empty, of course all the appointments are done over the phone and the doctor calls you back if she thinks you merit an appointment, place is just a bloody call centre.

Glad you got the CT scan in the end Adam.

Adam Mint wrote:So As said yesterday I had to be up at silly o'clock this morning, 08:25 hospital appointment  for my long awaited scan, there are two hospitals reasonably close to where I live, but no my appointments at one on the other side of the planet, sat nav says half a hour, but at that time of the morning no way, we gave ourselves a hour, and we needed it, got there exactly on time, when I say we, I mean Annie, she offered to give me a lift as it would have taken hours to get there by public transport or a small fortune in a taxi, was told to allow 45 minutes for appointment, so all going to plan we should have been leaving hospital 09:10, Annie's boss knew of situation and was expecting her in late...
So I'm lead to the CT scan waiting room, there are two people there, I just get sat down and my names called, guy takes me in to a small room, says he's got to go through a questionnaire with me before the scan, there's about ten questions on the sheet, you got a pacemaker, no, you got any metal plates in you, no, you got any body jewellery, no, etc, etc, then, you ever had anything metal in your eye, yip,,, he wants story, I'm hammering a piece of metal, small shard of it 16th of an inch flies off and in to my eye, I could see it sticking in my eye but could not flick it out with a tissue, I go to local optician to see if he can get it out, but no it's well stuck in, he sends me to eye hospital, but on way there I feel the bit of metal come out due to my eye blinking, I still go to the eye hospital as my eyes a bit sore, they extensively check my eye out, no trace of the bit of metal, and send me off with an eye patch and some ointment,,, the guy notes all this down, I also explain this was over thirty years ago, off he disappears with his bit of paper, five/ten minutes later he arrives back, " we can't carry out your scan today, we can't  find any record of the metal in your eye, and until we do we can't do the scan",,, I didn't even count to ten,"this was over thirty years ago" I blast out,"I've had no trouble with my eye, I almost didn't go to the eye hospital as I felt the bit of metal come out of my eye",,, but no, if he don't have proof it ain't there the scan ain't happening, "it's protocol" he says,,, Protocol I say, No, it's a waste of your and my time, there ain't no bit of metal in my eye, I've waited four and a half months  for this appointment, go to all the trouble of getting here to be told it's not happening because of an answer on your questionnaire, why not send your questionnaire out with the appointment letter and ask people to contact you if any of the questions apply to them,,, save everyone a lot of time that wouldn't it,,, "Oh, and I'm not leaving until I've seen the department manager"...
So off he trots and comes back with this female, she starts to explain why they can't do scan, I stop her, I say I fully understand  the technical reasons, but there ain't a piece of metal in my eye,,, She says she needs to get proof, I say and what are the chances of that if it don't appear on your system now,,, it was over thirty years ago in Scotland,,, and by the way I've been here before with this medical record thing, had a sinus operation in Manchester a few years back, after operation surgeon says to me "have you had your sinus cartilage removed", yip I say, some years back in Edinburgh, "Oh, that's what we were going to do today",,,,, So what happens if your records don't come up with the metal in eye bit,,, "We'll send you an appointment to come and have your eyes x-rayed",,, so I've wanted four and a half months for this scan, and now I'm going to have to wait even longer cos your records are screwed up,,, I've just walked through the x-ray department to get here, do it now I say,,, Ah, she says, we'd have to get a doctor to look at them,,,,, I say ("with a bit of a look"), This Is A Hospital......
I'm taken to the x-ray department,,, very short wait and I'm in getting x-ray, I'm taken back to CT scan unit, waiting room has about twenty people in it now, shit I think, I'll be at the back of the queue after pissing them off, but no, I'm taken first..
They must have thought lets get rid of this big scots git,,, was out of there by 09:30, twenty minutes longer than expected, result...

Good on yer Minty. Pity we have to go through all that shite in order to be seen !

Sat in the Doctors waiting room this morning  and a student said "Whats this place like its my first time"
Ok i said so long as you dont get a spear thrower, He was called in by one
I got some penicillin, No not for that  I got bitten on my leg in Tenerife and its infected now, 

Our Shona went to her kirst disco a couple of weeks ago. She was wearing a pair of light trainers. Somebody jumped on her toe. She never said a word and played a match the next day. I saw the football socks in the laundry basket. Feckin sock was soaked in blood. We had her bathing it in salt water each evening for a week. Thing was getting worse. Eileen got her some antibiotics. Slowly improving. Then guess what, after ten days, we found out that when the first toe was jumped on, the big toe on the other foot got a doing the same time. That one was almost as bad as the first one. Wtf can't kids just tell us what happened??

When on my own in Tenerife sometimes i hit the dance floor to cut some shapes,  i learned to watch what all the fat birds were doing with there feet, clumsy kents

Anybody on this forum in one piece,,, Cam...

Not that i met

Gypsy never complains........

Yeah, but how's her health........

Adam Mint wrote:Anybody on this forum in one piece,,, Cam...

Not any more...they threw a way a bit of my colon...

Major repair job that, Hope your back to 100% soon, they must be pleased with it to kick you out so soon

I had a decent crap for the first time in months last night!

Congratulations Cam, keep on crapping

TFI = top forum information

people must read this and think "WTF"