Ping Pong and Wigwam have arrived!

Edinburgh zoo sees the arrival of new pandas Ting Tong and Whambam. Sing song is a female and Big Ram is a gay male. Any offspring(?) will belong to China as does both Tin Gong and Big Sam as they are only on loan.
Hong Kong and Pig Lamb

How many feckin names have they?

3rdforum wrote:How many feckin names have they?

I get easily confused by them Chinese names.

I had a mate who said he could speak Chinese, It sounded right, We would go in bars and he would give it all that ordering drinks, Staff just stared at him, I mean he looked far from chinese, We had some laughs with it, Can you imagine a chinese bloke coming out with Broad Yorkshire, Or Scottish ?, Whan thi ya Was the opening line, Or something like, I just collapsed in a heap, He kept a strait face, Which i couldnt,

EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES.

Topdog wrote:EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES.

Haha! I remember that thread from another forum! "The zero tolerance approach to punctuation".

That was a funny one, someone got quite upset when I said that joke

A Panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the Panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The Panda yells back at the manager, "Hey, man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:-

A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves.

Topdog wrote:That was a funny one, someone got quite upset when I said that joke

No sense of humour mate.

I was thinking the other night about what you could say and get jumped on, Just about anything, Be all quiet, then somebody would say the wrong thing, BAM, 3 Days of hell, Not happened on here yet,

Underdog wrote:I was thinking the other night about what you could say and get jumped on, Just about anything, Be all quiet, then somebody would say the wrong thing, BAM, 3 Days of hell, Not happened on here yet,

Really, I must have missed them !

Mine wa a wee bit cleaner.

A prostitute meets a panda at a bar, gets drunk, and goes back to her pad.The panda asks if she has any food and she says "in the fridge". Panda clears the fridge out, then jumps into bed and gives her a real good seeing to. Then gets out of bed and starts to leave. The prostitute says "where you going I want money" the panda says "what for" "I am a prostitute and I do sex for money, look up prostitute in the dictionary: one who is paid for sex" the panda responds "Look up panda in the dictionary: one who eats shoots and leaves"

A panda walks into a bar, interrupting a heated argument between two customers. The bartender turns to the panda and says, "Hey, just the guy we needed! Tell Ollie and Neville here... are you a bear or some kind of raccoon?"

The panda ponders this for a moment and replies, "Hmmn. You know, not everything is black and white like that."

What does a Panda's Dad drink, panda pops, alright its Christmas soon. just knicked all the jokes out of the crackers.

Them female pandas only have a 1 and a 1/2 day "in heat" season. No wonder they're becoming extinct! And they only eat bamboo. Fussy gits are going one way to oblivion. (They're so cute and cuddly looking though).

The Lone Ranger wrote:Them female pandas only have a 1 and a 1/2 day "in heat" season. No wonder they're becoming extinct! And they only eat bamboo. Fussy gits are going one way to oblivion. (They're so cute and cuddly looking though).

No time for a bit of foreplay there then.

Foreplay

Apparently the pandas were already drunk when they got off the plane on Edinburgh...

The Daily Mash

The Lone Ranger wrote:Apparently the pandas were already drunk when they got off the plane on Edinburgh...

The Daily Mash

Scotland, One big blady party up there

They must have been on some bender. They have black circles around their eyes.


( Poor effort of a joke,I know, but I'm knackered)

3rdforum wrote:They must have been on some bender. They have black circles around their eyes.


( Poor effort of a joke,I know, but I'm knackered)

pretty good D!

Knackered D, Another 2 hours graft today then, Dont know your born, Try being diabetic, Never mind mystery illnesses, A lesser man than me would be on a drip barely alive i tell yi

Can't be it says in a previous post, eat shutes and leaves, you try getting rid of a Scotsman. Ah I know, your round, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee