Humour.

One for McQueen...

Campbell Brodie wrote:

No it wouldn't,,, they do the swimming first in a triathlon, so shark would have ate you ...

From our correspondent in Tenerife...

Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell. "No!" Trump said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Kim Jong-un with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time."No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Trump looked at this in disbezlief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!

Name ten famous Americans...……. Monica will be there...……….. 

The Madam opened the Brothel Door to see a frail, elderly gentleman.

"Can I help you"..?? the Madam asked.

"I want Natalie," the Old Man replied.

"Sir, Natalie is one of our most Expensive Ladies, perhaps someone else"..???

"NO, I must see Natalie." the old guy exclaims.

Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the Old Man, that she Charges $1,000 per visit.

Without blinking, the Old Man reached into his Pocket and handed her Ten $100 Bills.

The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left.

The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie..?!?!?

Natalie explained that no one had ever come back Two Nights in a Row and that there were NO Discounts. It was still $1,000 a visit.

Again the Old Man took out the Money, the Two went up to the room and an hour later, he left.

When he showed up the THIRD Consecutive night, no one could believe it.

Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went.

At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the Old Man:- "No one has ever used my Services Three Nights in a Row. Where are you from Sir"..???

The Old Man replied, "I'm from Philadelphia."

"Really"..?? replied Natalie.

"I have Family who Lives there." she replies.

"Yes, I Know," said the old man.

"Your Father Died recently, and I'm your Sister's Attorney".

*

"And she asked me to give this $3,000, when I saw you"..