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Tenerife's Forum of Fun

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4 posters

    Auntie Sharon...

    Campbell Brodie
    Campbell Brodie

    Scotland Male Posts : 59106
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 66
    Location : Scotland

    Auntie Sharon... Empty Auntie Sharon...

    Post by Campbell Brodie Wed 16 May 2012 - 20:41

    Moral of Auntie Sharon

    A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to
    tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
    The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

    Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One
    time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car
    when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken..'

    'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.

    'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'

    'Very good,' said the

    Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too. But we
    raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they
    hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't
    count your chickens before they're hatched'.'

    'That was a fine story Sarah.'

    Michael, do you have a story to share?'

    'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a
    flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.

    She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
    whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

    She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed
    right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

    She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she
    ran out of bullets.

    Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.
    And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'

    'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your daddy
    tell you from that horrible story?'

    'Stay the f**k away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking.'

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    Mischief Maker
    Mischief Maker

    Scotland Female Posts : 896
    Join date : 2011-08-24
    Age : 37
    Location : Scotland

    Auntie Sharon... Empty Re: Auntie Sharon...

    Post by Mischief Maker Wed 16 May 2012 - 20:54

    hee hee i like it

    Auntie Sharon... Images_zpsfa2cf0d0

    Scotland Female Posts : 10439
    Join date : 2011-08-14
    Location : Scotland

    Auntie Sharon... Empty Re: Auntie Sharon...

    Post by Mermaid Wed 16 May 2012 - 21:06

    Auntie Sharon... 3025408739

    Live life to the full now or it could be too late

    England Male Posts : 21262
    Join date : 2011-08-13
    Age : 62
    Location : England

    Auntie Sharon... Empty Re: Auntie Sharon...

    Post by Topdog Wed 16 May 2012 - 21:15

    Great weather
    Little Johnny's teacher says to the class, this weekend think of a sentence with the word contagious in it.
    Monday morning, she asks the class if they had thought of one. Little Johnny's hand goes up straight away but she ignores him, thinking, surely he doesn't know.
    After the rest of the class had all answered incorrectly she says to Johnny, go on then, what have you got.
    Johnny says "Well my dad was looking over the fence into next door yesterday as our neighbour was mowing his lawn.
    My my neighbour has a massive garden and a small lawn mower and my dad said,
    'It's going to take that contagious to cut the grass with that.' "

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    Auntie Sharon... Empty Re: Auntie Sharon...

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