And God created man!!

God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."
Adam said, "What's a valley?" God explained it to him.

Then God said, “Cross the river." Adam said, "What's a river?" God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...” Adam, said, "What is a hill?" So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave." Adam said, 'What's a cave?' After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman." Adam said, "What's a woman? So God explained that to him, too.

Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce." Adam said, "How do I do that?" God first said (under His breath), "Geez...” And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said...


"What's a headache?"

And the funny part is they try to peddal that crap as the truth, Adam and Eve , The more i question that bible stuff the more i feel conned by what what they brainwashed me at the Church of England school i went to,
If i took to the streets and told everybody i had an imaginary friend that i talk to on bended knees i'm fairly sure i would be sectioned, Sunday is a good day to question what they tel you, Trouble is if you ridicule them that go wasting their time they get all shirty , Now is that a self defence mechanism thats been planted in their heads at the same time as all the other story's, Now just recently they are slowly changing one thing they used to preach, Man should not lay down with man, But its becoming acceptable because more and more gay people are coming out, And if the church stuck to what they had said previously all hell would break lose, So make your mind up you religious lot whats it to be ?, Nah you will just make it up as you go along as usual, Biggest crime ever that god shite, Sunday is for chilling out at the end of the week, Not listening to queer folk in the big house up the road,
Todays sermon was carried out by Reg D, 24th 6th 2012,

Mcqueen wrote:And the funny part is they try to peddal that crap as the truth, Adam and Eve , The more i question that bible stuff the more i feel conned by what what they brainwashed me at the Church of England school i went to,
If i took to the streets and told everybody i had an imaginary friend that i talk to on bended knees i'm fairly sure i would be sectioned, Sunday is a good day to question what they tel you, Trouble is if you ridicule them that go wasting their time they get all shirty , Now is that a self defence mechanism thats been planted in their heads at the same time as all the other story's, Now just recently they are slowly changing one thing they used to preach, Man should not lay down with man, But its becoming acceptable because more and more gay people are coming out, And if the church stuck to what they had said previously all hell would break lose, So make your mind up you religious lot whats it to be ?, Nah you will just make it up as you go along as usual, Biggest crime ever that god shite, Sunday is for chilling out at the end of the week, Not listening to queer folk in the big house up the road,
Todays sermon was carried out by Reg D, 24th 6th 2012,

I thought god was gay. It says so in the bible. Exodus.

It’s a big day for Moses. He’s finally going to meet God face to face. But God backs out at the last minute claiming that no man can see his face and live. However, he has a solution. He will let Moses have a peek at his backside, “And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.” Moses must be heartbroken. Imagine explaining that to the wife: “Oh honey, did you see God’s face?” “Umm not quite…I got a great look at his ass though!”

The moral of this story? God works in mysterious (and slightly gay) ways.

, I know a lad called Moses, Doorman and good all round enforcer, Size of a house he is, He dosent speak he just glares at people, Well worth the money ,

I admire people with strong faith. Whatever gets you through the week is all right in my book. Don't have any myself mind you, but each to one's own ( as long as they don't start trying to ram it down my throat )

3rdforum wrote:I admire people with strong faith. Whatever gets you through the week is all right in my book. Don't have any myself mind you, but each to one's own ( as long as they don't start trying to ram it down my throat )

I've got a cousin (female) called Faith...

Lone Ranger wrote:

I've got a cousin (female) called Faith...

I live in Hope of receiving some Charity but so far zilch

Gypsy wrote:

Lone Ranger wrote:

I've got a cousin (female) called Faith...

I live in Hope of receiving some Charity but so far zilch

Saviours of Malta...innit