A farmer in Yorkshire sees a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts :-
"ey up cocker, tha don't wanna be drinkin watta frum theer, its full o hoss piss an cow shite."
The bloke says:- "Sir, I am a foreigner seeking hospitality in your country, can you speak clearer and slower please"
The farmer replies
"If.... you.... use.... two.... hands.... you.... won't.... spill ....any"....
"ey up cocker, tha don't wanna be drinkin watta frum theer, its full o hoss piss an cow shite."
The bloke says:- "Sir, I am a foreigner seeking hospitality in your country, can you speak clearer and slower please"
The farmer replies
"If.... you.... use.... two.... hands.... you.... won't.... spill ....any"....