Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father is?"
"For gosh sake, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart?"
+5
Topdog
Gypsy
Mcqueen
Adam Mint
BobMac
9 posters
Pregnant Prostitute
BobMac-
Posts : 517
Join date : 2012-03-22
Age : 78
Location : Chelmsford
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
Two prostitutes were talking about how rough times were.
One said, "You know, times are so bad that I did a trick last night for a measly fiver, just so I had the taxi fare home!"
"Huh," replied the other slag, "I gave away a blowjob last night just to get something warm in my stomach!"...
One said, "You know, times are so bad that I did a trick last night for a measly fiver, just so I had the taxi fare home!"
"Huh," replied the other slag, "I gave away a blowjob last night just to get something warm in my stomach!"...
Mcqueen-
Posts : 30546
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 70
Location : England
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
Oh, me thinks this threads got distance in it...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
What does a prostitute have at the end of her shift?
A box of assorted creams...
Gypsy-
Posts : 12655
Join date : 2011-08-14
Q: What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A: Brothel sprouts.
Q: Why did the prostitute join the religious cult?
A: She liked unprotected sects
A: Brothel sprouts.
Q: Why did the prostitute join the religious cult?
A: She liked unprotected sects
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
What's the difference between a whore and a bowling ball?
You can't fit five fingers in a bowling ball...
You can't fit five fingers in a bowling ball...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage?
She was strapped for cash...
She was strapped for cash...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch...
Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch...
BobMac-
- Posts : 517
Join date : 2012-03-22
Age : 78
Location : Chelmsford
What have I started here ????
LOL
LOL
Topdog-
- Posts : 21262
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England
Dyslexic Forklift driver applied for a job at a whorehouse.
BobMac-
- Posts : 517
Join date : 2012-03-22
Age : 78
Location : Chelmsford
In days of yore, there was a Word Processor called Wordperfect and if you mistyped Warehouse, Whorehouse was the only word it knew in it's spellchecker !!Topdog wrote:Dyslexic Forklift driver applied for a job at a whorehouse.
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
How do you make a hormone?
Kick her in the stomach...
Kick her in the stomach...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
What do you get if you cross a prostitute with an elephant?
A whore who fu#ks you for peanuts and remembers you forever...
A whore who fu#ks you for peanuts and remembers you forever...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
Did you hear about the German prostitute who asked to be paid in marks instead of sterling!
They all gave her six out of ten...
They all gave her six out of ten...
Topdog-
- Posts : 21262
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 65
Location : England
German Prozzy who used to tie a spring to her hands and feet and bounce around, whilst the client sorted her Doggy fashion. VORSPRUNG DURCH TECHNIK
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
A hooker will stop screwing you when your dead...
A hooker will stop screwing you when your dead...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
A guy had never had sex before, so his buddies set him up with this whore for a couple of hours. He really had no clue, and when she sat down on the bed completely naked, she said, "Do you know what I want?"
He looked at her and said, "No!"
The whore then lay down on the bed and started to rub her breasts and moaning she said, "Do you know what I want now?"
The guy replied, "No!"
The whore then spread her legs wide and started to play with herself then said, "Now do you know what I want?"
"Yeah," replied the guy, "You want the whole fu#king bed to yourself"...
He looked at her and said, "No!"
The whore then lay down on the bed and started to rub her breasts and moaning she said, "Do you know what I want now?"
The guy replied, "No!"
The whore then spread her legs wide and started to play with herself then said, "Now do you know what I want?"
"Yeah," replied the guy, "You want the whole fu#king bed to yourself"...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
What do you call an Italian hooker?
A pastatute...
A pastatute...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
What's the difference between a drug pusher and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again...
A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
What do you call a prostitue with a runny nose.
Full...
Full...
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
An Irish daughter had not been home for years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'
The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...'
Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a £5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club.....(takes a breath).....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... .'
'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'
'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug...
The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute...'
Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a £5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club.....(takes a breath).....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... .'
'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'
'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug...
Mcqueen-
- Posts : 30546
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 70
Location : England
Sure this was on here a bit ago ? or is it me :puzzled:
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
OK take two...
What does the sign say on the brothel door say when it's shut...
Beat it, we're closed...
What does the sign say on the brothel door say when it's shut...
Beat it, we're closed...
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
...you can beat an egg...