What are you doing today??

He's probably up and re-tiling the terrace by now...

Grouty.

He text to say he is rebuilding both apartments for the 5th time in two years as he saw a cockroach in Los Cris and it aint nesting in his gaff

As you may recall I have joined the NHS client list lately mainly of course so I can join in with most of you lot telling tales about my latest malady's. Well I have been that busy with NHS I've hardly had time to look for employment. Doctor arranged for a chest X-Ray at Kings Lynn hospital which is right handy cos its on the way to Wells. Anyway walked in and looking for radiology department, couldnt see any signs for it but discovered a hospital map. Still couldnt see it under R then fat security man comes waddling along, suppose I looked out of place in a hospital, what you doing pal? Looking for radiology I said. He points to the map, X-Ray, its right behind you.    Anyway had special photo done and I was back out in 15 minutes, amazing. I was expecting at least 2 hours!

Don't want you taking any poor illegal immigrants job now

Today I picked up my new inhaler from the doctors surgery as they had to wait for new stocks, I must remember to ask about a blue badge for the car, that will save another £225. Then I had to go to job centre, they are well pleased with me as I have an interview. Had to wait for a while while she dealt with a Romanian tart with an interpreter who looked like a younger Romanian tart, its dark now so I guess they will be down by Wisbech docks. Maybe I should get the boat back there, turn it into a brothel, if I turn it the right way round it will already be displaying a couple of red lights, perfect. As you can see I'm learning this Broken Britain bit real fast. Then I went down the Council to sort out my Council tax. Sorted.   In fact I have nearly saved enough for a plane ticket, trouble is finding a time window........Busy busy busy.

A couple of years ago we met a lovely French Canadian couple on a cruise , well this morning we got an e-mail saying that they were touring Scotland and would be in the city for 2 days next week and would we like to meet them, sounds cool, so something nice to look forward to

Tres bien.

Just been to the Docs. I've got a urine infection... Feckin' sore it is! He's sending a sample away to be tested then I've to go back in 2 weeks for prostate tests.

Sounds like he's taking the piss,,, couldn't be arsed with that...

The Lone Ranger wrote:Just been to the Docs. I've got a urine infection... Feckin' sore it is! He's sending a sample away to be tested then I've to go back in 2 weeks for prostate tests.

Welcome to the club!

Took Macie and her mum to the Kelpies today...

Hope all Ok Cam

Thanks Kev. I'm on antibiotics and it seems to be easing a bit.

Bassa of a thing. Right, I'm off. Have to work in this heat. Laters

Blimey, my diary is full up next week already, never needed one before. Went to smoking clinic today after I gave some more blood samples to keep NHS busy. I have got some pills called Chamix that will apparently help smoking cravings disappear. Yeah right.    Then I had to go to the library to get help making up, yes, making up a CV that will impress potential employers. I had already written everything down on a sheet of paper half of which was contained under the heading, Medical. Partial paralysis of left leg, type 2 diabetes, COPD, cant run, cant walk far, cant lift heavy objects, deaf as a post, the list went on. We cant put this in it she says. Well why ever not? A potential employer needs to know what they are letting themselves in for FFS. No, leave it with me she says. Have you thought about further education, like help with reading and maths for example? I pointed to the sheet of paper I had written out in legible hand writing with (probably) no spelling mistakes. Someone else may have written that out for you though.    Actually I'm probably missing out on a trick here but never mind. Anyway its going to take her a week to sort this out and I can collect my CV from the Job Club next Thursday. 
FFS just give me a pension book and stop wasting everybodys time. I dont care if its 10p a week just stop this bullshit.

Cant you get a grant to go self employed as a boad dealer or general dealer, do 2 years and go bankrupt You would then be fast tracked into a council house etc

Never heard of a boad dealer, riddles

Smell check not working

Can you smell gas, Reg....Nah can´t even smell me own name.

Your jokes are so last century, just like your hair style , did i say style Give it up lad

Yeah but you listen to music and watch films from that era so trying to be like you

Shut it Mary

A pair of weird twats have just sung my karaoke song on X factor, the audience liked them, they were absolute crap. 
Boat is up and running now, new fuel pump I got for it last week was leaking from the connections that they supplied with it so I put some non chinese ones on and eventually got it going only to notice battery not charging, so I left it running and spent ages going over my new wiring, couldnt understand it. Then I noticed the ignition switch had been knocked up accidentally.......