Punny sayings.

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys.

This just goes to prove that...the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

and

The King of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

The first one is brilliant! Loved it!

Yep as it is awards day I award you a Granny for the first one, genius. Was the answer SEX?

Do people have a fabulous holiday in Ireland because they are walking on Eire?

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Lidocaine during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

A 3 legged dog walks into a wild west bar..."I'm looking for the man who shot ma paw!"

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.


One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.


Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Amal.


He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest.


He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.


Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.


One says to the other, "Are you all right?"


"No, I lost an electron."


"Are you sure?"


"Yeah, I'm positive."

The twins one made me laugh out loud.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.