The Toilet thread

No sooner requested than added

You can add bars and restaurants and give them a score 10 being the best, cleanest and 1 the grottiests

A rated forum this, We can do top carsie of the year award, This should bring the punters in, ,
Cam we need a carsie smiley. Best carsie i ever went in was in Monaco, At the mirramar on the front, You get a new towel when you go in, Wow i dernt touch anything, Litttle man in charge on the door, He nips in to check it when you leave, Must think your going to nick the taps, 9/10

Worst Carsie ever is in Turkey on Camel Beach. Flooded with piss and you have to take your shoes off when you leave the boat that takes you there, so if you need to go barefoot in pee.
I laid on the sand and had one.

Best toilet in Tenerife goes to Reg @ Royal Tenerife Gardens

O'Jangles/Bojangles for a bar's toilets has one of the cleanest. 9/10 (Toilet smileys added)

Topdog wrote:Worst Carsie ever is in Turkey on Camel Beach. Flooded with piss and you have to take your shoes off when you leave the boat that takes you there, so if you need to go barefoot in pee.
I laid on the sand and had one.

Too much information kev. Were the toilet is, And the score.

Mcqueen wrote:

Topdog wrote:Worst Carsie ever is in Turkey on Camel Beach. Flooded with piss and you have to take your shoes off when you leave the boat that takes you there, so if you need to go barefoot in pee.
I laid on the sand and had one.

Too much information kev. Were the toilet is, And the score.

Turkey minus 20

Cruella de Vil wrote:Best toilet in Tenerife goes to Reg @ Royal Tenerife Gardens

Thanks Cru, The delux 1 bed by the pool is nice, The lookout on the front is ok, But i ran out of money to revamp that one, But i did put a union jack toilet seat on last time i was there, Just to let the spanish know who is in charge

I can pee on the union jack next time then.

Wouldnt suprise me one bit, I keep the delux one in the cupboard for personal use, It plays a tune when you sit down. Not funny in the middle of the night, I tell Janet to hover, Lsten my arse, Her arse , somebodys arse,

The Gunners manager, Arsne, his surname is Reg new backwards.
Another Arse Reg Knew

Mcqueen wrote:

Cruella de Vil wrote:Best toilet in Tenerife goes to Reg @ Royal Tenerife Gardens

Thanks Cru, The delux 1 bed by the pool is nice, The lookout on the front is ok, But i ran out of money to revamp that one, But i did put a union jack toilet seat on last time i was there, Just to let the spanish know who is in charge

Don't tell Jimbo you have a union jack toilet seat

The ladies at Clifden. Xid you see it in 3Fs post ? ...... shutters pulled down. What good is that to anyone. 1/10

The Albany Hotel Glasgow, some years back was at a corporate event held there, after event we are having drinks in the foyer of the hotel, I decide to go to toilet, there are two doors, first door I walk up to has ladies picture on it, so I walk a few yards down to other door and go in, well, paradise, I had never seen toilets like this before, all carpeted, no urinals, all cubicles, expensively decorated etc. Finish what I was doing, walk out only to be stared at by all in my party “what”, one member of party points to door behind me, OK, it turns out there were two entrances to the ladies... Still give it 10/10....

On the rock, was shocked at Christmas to find the Bulls Head on the strip had a, to use crude Geordie phrase 'bog wog'.

As when drinking in the ponchy bars in Newcastle (rare as we now stick to proper traditional pubs now) I don't want aftershave on me after I've had a slash and certainly don't want to give you money for doing it.

Yep, told him to piss off, drank me drink and left.

Adam Mint wrote:The Albany Hotel Glasgow, some years back was at a corporate event held there, after event we are having drinks in the foyer of the hotel, I decide to go to toilet, there are two doors, first door I walk up to has ladies picture on it, so I walk a few yards down to other door and go in, well, paradise, I had never seen toilets like this before, all carpeted, no urinals, all cubicles, expensively decorated etc. Finish what I was doing, walk out only to be stared at by all in my party “what”, one member of party points to door behind me, OK, it turns out there were two entrances to the ladies... Still give it 10/10....

I fell for that at that Monestry place in tenerife, Heading up to santa cruz, We were in a party of 12 maybe going for a meal to celebrate somebodys birthday, Anyway i went to the carsie and was washing my hands, And was looking in the mirror thanking my lucky stars, Then i noticed a duck sailing past the window Turns out there is a pond raised up to window level, Then this bird come out of a cubicle ?, Now i'm used to being door stepped by the opposite sex, So thought nothing of it, Plus i'd had a drink and wasnt in the mood for a knee trembler in a cubicle, It wasnt until i breezed out i noticed i was in the ladies , Err 7/10

Kelly's Cocoon Bar in Hersonnasis in Crete. The place was awash with piss and they were even pissing into the sinks when it got busy. 0/10
Best was Senor Frog's in Cancun. 10/10. Little fella at the door. He even turned on and off the taps when I was washing my hands. Comlimentary splash of Brut. He had a big "TIP" sign on his seat. Cost me a dollar every time. I'm not too bad for the first hour of drinking but when the dam breaks....... I was down about 15 dollars by nights end

Amanda's Bar..........Having a slash and the light goes out, shot in the dark. Don't know how anyone is expected to jack up in a place like that.
Ladies had a big hole in the floor for ages, told Jan it was in case anyone wearing a Burka walked in.

This Place
Can't remember it's name but it's a cafe (up-market) that juts out over the sea just before you come to Puerto Colon. It has swimming pools connected with little river type thingys. Toilets in here were absolutely brilliant last time I was in. (3 years ago). The paper towels were so thick they were like linen! There was scented hand-wash (for those who come from Brighton), along with air dryers which actually dried your hands. Lovely marble worktops the hand-basins were set in as well. 10/10.

The Lone Ranger wrote:This Place
Can't remember it's name but it's a cafe (up-market) that juts out over the sea just before you come to Puerto Colon. It has swimming pools connected with little river type thingys. Toilets in here were absolutely brilliant last time I was in. (3 years ago). The paper towels were so thick they were like linen! There was scented hand-wash (for those who come from Brighton), along with air dryers which actually dried your hands. Lovely marble worktops the hand-basins were set in as well. 10/10.

Posh that is.

went to a Restaurant, very close to the Blue Marlin in Peurto Colon. Got our drinks went for a wee, leaving my order with rest of party. Chef came out with bog stinking and walked straight out without washing hands. I came back just they were ordering and said bill please we are not eating here.
Waiter said your friends want to, I said they are my family and I am not allowing them to and explained why. Owner, right short arse Italian or Spanish, I think I am a Mafia member type, came over and started having a go at me. I said, "I will pay for drink but not eating here". He said the Chef would wash his hands in the kitchen, i said, too late by then.
He started getting angry so I said, I ain't paying for the drinks even as we have left most of them, Bye. He said, "I will call the police", go on then, I just walked off telling my lot to follow to suit.
He came and grabbed my arm, wrong........touch me again pal and you will chew the sand.
Waiters came over to add Muscle, Jan threw 10 euro on the ground and said, First drink was free, we had 3 beers after that, that should cover it, if not just call the police. We left with loads of abuse, just turned back and winked at him.
Second time round that area we had trouble, think brothers, other was complete messed up food order and half food missing.