350 please

A young girl started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.

The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own. She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.

"Look," he said."My regular customers don’t ask for condoms, they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320[medium] or a 330[large]. The word condom won’t even be used.

The first day was fine but on the second day a guy built like a brick ****house came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "350".

The girl panicked. She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament.

"Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs" her boss told her.

She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes!" she said "He's got one hanging there!"

The boss said "Go back in and give him £3.50, he's the window cleaner!"

My window cleaner came down the ladder and stood in his bucket, I'm on the floor laughing, He said i dont think its funny i'm going to have a wet foot all day now, He had a right gob on,

Well our window cleaner just charges £2.50.

Mine doesn´t charge anything and he cleans them twice a year whether they need it or not

That'll be Jim then!

Nice joke Gypsy.......my window cleaner charges £10, cheap for round here with conservatory.

Reminds me of bloke goes in Chemist and says to the lovely behind the ramp, " Good weekend coming up, 87 condoms please", lovely behind the ramp says, "87, feck me", "make that 88 then"

That is a bit like

A Scottish soldier in full dress uniform walks into a chemist, and from his sporran pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana. He unfolds this, and reveals a neatly folded square silk handkerchief. He unfolds this to reveal a condom, with several patches.

He asks the chemist, 'how much to repair this', The chemist says '6 pence,' he then asks 'how much for a new one', the chemist says '10 pence'.

He folds the condom back into the silk and the cotton, and goes outside.

A moment later the chemist hears a great shout, followed by an even greater one.

The soldier marches back in and addresses the chemist, with a big satisfied grin on his face.

'The regiment has taken a vote, we'll have a new one.'

£8 x 2, I hide sometimes, , Ive bought cars for less,

Hmmmmm, I have a small confession to make. I have never ever used one. Its not like Im ugly........

You probably got a 1930's wash out one.