I'm off to Scotland

Well i'm going to north shields on Monday is that Scotland ?, Will they talk funny and do i need a kilt
How far from John'o'groats is it, Should i be scared , I just bagged an Audi off Ebay gum

Well not quite John o krauts, but Cam and Tricia just up the road

Nah, you'll still be 127 miles South of this kilt-wearing Scotsman!

Narrow escape then

That ain't far

Have a good trip. Shame it is not nearer to us

You're in Blythe Spirits neck of the woods.

Blimey i'l watch out then

Walk

Trainline.com You want Reg. Cheaper than taking a car there and back.

Hitch, Bitch.

Perfectspecimen wrote:Trainline.com You want Reg. Cheaper than taking a car there and back.

Yeh but you have to sit with the public , On the plane at least i know Janet will be next to me,
I roped irish Pete in to run me up. Quicker too, also i will have to go tax the blady thing first when i get my mits on the documents,

Tax

West North Shields ? Never heard of it before

Well, what a strange place, they charge £1 60p to get in, then their was a big queue outside the post office, all old people hunched over smoking roll ups getting their dole money, i went in a petrol station and the staff was behind armour plating , Must be like the wild west, when i payed for the Audi the guy was looking over his shoulder, whats going on up there ? anyway i made it back to Yorkshire without being held to ransom

Northerners Reg innit... . Did you see Blyth Spirit? He was the one with the mask!

On the way back down the A1 yesterday i started to look around the Audi, i thought i'l press a few buttons to help with the boredom, one on the steering wheel i wasnt familiar with, but like a loud hailer, being next to the horn i thought i bet its a 2 tone horn thing, so i pressed the horn then this button ?, Nah a woman turns the radio off and said what is your command , I thought blimey this is the future, "A cup of tea with 1 sweetner or half a teaspoon of sugar please" "Sorry" she said, so i said it again, "Sorry " again ?, Then "Would you like me to empty your phone book" WTF ? "Look said i if you cant do what i asked will you p--s off and put the radio on" Which she did, Progress ? Nah, I can get that treatment at home

Mine annoys me when she suddenly comes on and says you have a text message, would you like to, read it, or dismiss.
So, read it.
would you like to reply.
Yes reply.
Would you like to re do your message or send.
Send
Would you like to re do your message or send.
Send
Would you like to re do your message or send.
Send
Would you like to re do your message or send.
Send
Would you like to re do your message or send.
Send
Bugger off,
Thank You message sent.

Did you realise you were close to the Taxi Man Daryn in South Shields

No i didnt, can people afford taxi's round there ?, it all looked a bit bleak where i went, i suppose i shouldnt judge on what i saw really, there will be nice parts i'm sure

Reg is from Headingly you know ...

With an E

Reg is from Braford area you know.

Ripper country, with a claw hammer....