New Passport

My new passport arrived yesterday, took just over a week. I notice I am number 516,032,***. Thats a lot of British passports innit? Its says it has a chip in it but I dont have one in my neck like my dog so whats the point? Still, I look forward to joining the shorter queue next time I arrive home again. Hopefully those new machines will be functioning correctly by then......

...you still have to queue to show the feckin' thing, chip or no chip...

When you are born they should insert a chip somewhere on your person, like cats and dogs, Trouble is you would get some bent twat chopping off limbs to take through the control,
I once had a tracker fitted on a merc, the guy said "i cant tell you where it is" i said" i know where it is "
"How do you" said the guy, " I watched you through the window" , Pillock

What makes me laugh is when you land in the middle of the night theres about 8 of the buggers there swiping yer passport. Whos paying for that? But when you fly out they dont swipe it. Highly sensible. They aint got a clue who is living here.

You get it free now Mince

They sent my old passport back today in a separate envelope. Now why would I want that? Dont look any older in the photos really, hairline still the same, maybe a bit more grey. Right, off to post office now with some parcels for the lucky peeps who won my ebay auctions.

Mmm, I have a punter coming at 3,30 ish, Astra on eBay, Already started with the discounts -None agreed,
Coming from coventry, i love it when the penny drops its full price, sounded not from these lands, so thats it then Enough already

Flew Belfast to Manchester recently, needed toilet but seat belt lights were on, through passport control reasonably quick and straight to toilet in baggage collection area, exit toilet, baggage area is deserted, suspect all on board had hand luggage, head to exit door, its locked,,, I can see two airport staff (male and female) heading away from door down the corridor, I start banging on door, they turn round and head back and unlock door, conversation goes roughly as follows:-

Female:- How you get in there ?
Me:- Got off Belfast flight.
Female:- Why you still in there ?
Me:- Been to toilet.
Female:- Why ?
Me:- Because I needed.
Female:- You should clear area as soon as possible.
Me:- You should do your job better...
Female:- Silence..............

I then make inappropriate comment about her footwear “Good for pole dancing, shit for security”, six inch black patent platform stilettos, and walk away, her male counterpart said feck all during the incident, he knew they had feck#d up,,, security...................

I would send it back if it chipped, all that money and it comes back broken the cheek of them

Daryn wrote:I would send it back if it chipped, all that money and it comes back broken the cheek of them

Mcqueen wrote:Mmm, I have a punter coming at 3,30 ish, Astra on eBay, Already started with the discounts -None agreed,
Coming from coventry, i love it when the penny drops its full price, sounded not from these lands, so thats it then Enough already

Yeh well Vince mentioned eBay, so i went off on one about punter coming, so thats how i ended up with this on the passport thread,
So they turned out to be Polish, I've dealt with Polish before, no problem, but these two 2 hours30 minutes, later, i said "look you have worn me down, your getting feck all off so feck off" so he says "I need to be carefull" Not here you dont i'l make it as simple as possible, Yes or No" , Yes he said heres my dosh, Not bleeding hard was it. Sometimes people drive me up the blady wall,
Different cultures you see, they shaft each other to death, they dont realise that wont happen in England I have a Migrane comming on.

Remind me never to buy anything off you Reg...

Coventry Poles eh? Must have been very unpopular to get sent there. Wonder what they do there. Think the motor industry has well gone now. Thriving drug and prostitute Zone now I heard.

The Lone Ranger wrote:Remind me never to buy anything off you Reg...

Ney normaly everything go's smoothly, But they just tried my patience, She was under the bonnet pointing at things and saying that isnt right, , Oh Really, they must think everybody will just turn over and knock large amounts off, Janet knows more about cars than they ever will

I been in Reg's gaff when he has been busy and he don't mess about.

You should have added 15% and told them it was a POLE TAX

Hey good plan,