The non-PC thread.

As you may or may not know football fans are no longer allowed to say the word Yid in their songs/chants, indeed they can be hauled up before the courts on some charge they have thought up. You cant keep a football crowd down though, I could hear them singing "I'd rather be a P*k* than a Jew" at the Arsenal Spurs match at the weekend.    They have simply substituted the word Jew for Yid.
Back to the drawing board then for the Police lawyers.

Scottish innit. Yid rather be a .....

The bit that makes me laugh is the Spurs fans, many of them Jewish, readily refer to themselves as the Yid Army. So if they are not bothered what the feck has it got to do with the liberal brigade? There are some marvellously witty chants that can be heard at football grounds, bit disturbing maybe when aimed at individual players but hey, its just banter. They have even started having a go at the Aussies for calling us Whinging Poms and suchlike, seems to have worked a treat then after our latest 5-0 thrashing in the Ashes.........

Yeah like northern tWats calling us southern softies, who gives a shite

The word Twat is very insulting in Lancashire you know.

Most of them are

...and what about us tight-fisted Jocks?... 

........./Yorkshiremen.

I think Warby must have been reading this thread as he has just sent me the following email half an hour ago!. Not PC correct but if it is going to be passed on best to keep it to this thread.

Son: "Dad, we're learning about prisms at school. They're fascinating."
Dad: "That's good son, because as a dyslexic black boy,you're bound to end up in one."

Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor 'phones and says*
"Paddy, you realise you've got sugar diabetes."
Paddy says, "Nice one, when do I fight him?"*

It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I've turned myself around and that's what it's all about.

A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD.  Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, that's when the fight started!

Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself.  He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says "Don't laugh, you're next!!"

An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum" he replied
"2nd - What do you think of Damascus?"
"It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive?
"That's easy" he said "Popeye kicked the crap out of them!!"


Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."
His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"*

Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.  Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too." Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?" "No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!!


In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1999 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mother

Thats just not fair. they are nearly all Irish.  

Great, not forgetting I was arrested on new years eve just after midnight for punching an Asian. Told the judge, sorry your honor but when you hear a Muslim counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.