Let's plan Underdogs Forthcoming Holiday

As we know Underdog le Reg is arriving in The Island of Tenerife on Friday this week.
He has ask if we could plan his holiday for him.
I will start.
Arrive Tenerife North Airport Friday pm. Have a row as they should have booked a flight to TFS. Luckily they can exchange the car hire to the North. Pick up White Van with Chauffeur.

Over to Next person.

Topdog wrote:As we know Underdog le Reg is arriving in The Island of Tenerife on Friday this week.
He has ask if we could plan his holiday for him.
I will start.
Arrive Tenerife North Airport Friday pm. Have a row as they should have booked a flight to TFS. Luckily they can exchange the car hire to the North. Pick up White Van with Chauffeur.

Over to Next person.

gets driven straight to camp naughty. :Angry 1:

Arriving vista sur beach by private helicopter, from tenerife south south airport, the vip area, after landing in private gulfstream jet, Carried from jet to helicopter, by 4 dusky maidens, 1 mopping my brow with a cool towell, then placed on bijou apartment terrace, under 1 of the 4 mtr sun blinds, then served with a cool vodka and tonic, until being transported to shower and bathed by said girls, Then slapped round chops by Janet saying wake up were landing, and i cant feel my legs because jet 2 only give you 3", you know what 3" is like mary,

underdog wrote:Arriving vista sur beach by private helicopter, from tenerife south south airport, the vip area, after landing in private gulfstream jet, Carried from jet to helicopter, by 4 dusky maidens, 1 mopping my brow with a cool towell, then placed on bijou apartment terrace, under 1 of the 4 mtr sun blinds, then served with a cool vodka and tonic, until being transported to shower and bathed by said girls, Then slapped round chops by Janet saying wake up were landing, and i cant feel my legs because jet 2 only give you 3", you know what 3" is like mary,

Please make that yur last post on this thread as it is a serious one and it is a surprise for you.

Topdog wrote:
Please make that yur last post on this thread as it is a serious one and it is a surprise for you.

cunningham wrote: gets driven straight to camp naughty. :Angry 1:

Goes to bed in his Luxury 1967 static caravan(static due to no wheels), with hot water bottle.
Wakes up 12 times during the night for a pee, due to mistaking Diuretic tablets for travel sickness (took 28 in total).

Topdog wrote:
Goes to bed in his Luxury 1967 static caravan(static due to no wheels), with hot water bottle.
Wakes up 12 times during the night for a pee, due to mistaking Diuretic tablets for travel sickness (took 28 in total).

peed in the cupboard thinking there was an inside toilet. :Big Smile:

Gets woken up at 5.30am by all the barking dogs that are on the campsite then leaves his Park Home and goes to the communal latrines for a cold shower

Gypsy wrote:Gets woken up at 5.30am by all the barking dogs that are on the campsite then leaves his Park Home and goes to the communal latrines for a cold shower

Dogs won't be the only thing that is barking.

Gets dressed, goes to O'jangles bar for breakfast, but he gets none because he is barred.

So after no Brekki, Reg is off to do some conversing, he thinks Lookie Lookie men like him because they talk and sell him expensive watches, really cheap. Phones his Chauffeur (with van) to pick him and his trolley on wheels up, loaded with contraband.

Is he in Los Cristianos? If so he could go to the nudist beach and give everyone a thrill. There are loads of dog walkers down there as well as loads of old dogs

Gypsy wrote:Is he in Los Cristianos? If so he could go to the nudist beach and give everyone a thrill. There are loads of dog walkers down there as well as loads of old dogs

There are enough old dogs on this forum

Cruella de Vil wrote:

There are enough old dogs on this forum

Lunch at McDonalds, brit abroad thingy.

Then some window shopping at all the Asian shops. He'll enjoy a bit of light hearted banter with the Sales Assistants when they come out and offer him their bargains.

For dinner he can go to Aberdeen Steakhouse and get shite beer for €1 a jar, eat fillet steak you cant chew and sit amongst football shirt wearing Brits whom he may be able to understand if they come from south of the Tyne.

To check out who the Brits are UD, have a look at this post

Linky

Gypsy wrote:To check out who the Brits are UD, have a look at this post

Linky

After dinner he will find an empty Kareoke bar with a crap compare belting out Penny Arcade, whilst the bar nest door (which he is probably banned from) is belting out some real good live music and packed to the rafters.
Than after one bottle of water between them, four hours later start the 4 k walk back to the shack.

He could always stop of at Funchal and have a pint with Cunningham :party 1:

So after a pint with Cunningham and a game of snooker, (another mug ripped off by John Parrot Thornton), Reg hasn't got his fare home.
Day 3, White Van turns up with Chauffeur which is H andy. Today it is a trip up the Rock, but due to a freak snowstorm that travelled around Teide all the lower roads are closed. Unfortunate really because by this time Reg and Janet are at the peak. Perhaps they will be stuck all day, but at least they have a van to sleep in, which is H andy.

Jimandsi wrote:Then some window shopping at all the Asian shops. He'll enjoy a bit of light hearted banter with the Sales Assistants when they come out and offer him their bargains.

next port of call, the tattoo artist,for the st.george cross,all over his back.

And a trip to Mercadona to look for some Walls Sausageeees.

Back to the shack for a barbe, one problem, no matches. All the Canarians turn up to watch mad man from North of England lighting a fire with two sticks. unfortunately no one tells mad man, the sticks are actually chopsticks from local take away and are plastic.

When the hells he going to have enough time to use the bloody paint he just spent all day looking for.Give him some slack.

He won't thicko will bring it back and pay extra luggage for it.

For Sale

Hand painted car in Dulux colour white with red rust spots.

Bargain owner emigrating to Tenerife.