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Campbell Brodie-
Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
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Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
searcher likes this post
innit-
- Posts : 2963
Join date : 2011-08-23
A young Scottish lad fae Inverness 
and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.” “Well, uh, I was thinkin’… perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.” The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”
The young man knit his brow. “Well, now,” he said, “my thoughts are a bit more serious this time.” “Really?” said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
“Aye,” said the lad. “Din’na ye think it’s aboot time ye paid me that first penny?”
and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.” “Well, uh, I was thinkin’… perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.” The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.” The young man knit his brow. “Well, now,” he said, “my thoughts are a bit more serious this time.” “Really?” said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
“Aye,” said the lad. “Din’na ye think it’s aboot time ye paid me that first penny?”
Campbell Brodie likes this post
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
innit-
- Posts : 2963
Join date : 2011-08-23
Campbell Brodie likes this post
innit-
- Posts : 2963
Join date : 2011-08-23
Three nuns passed away and went up to Heaven. They were pleasantly surprised when Saint Peter informed them that in exchange for their many years of servitude and chastity, God Himself was going to bestow upon them each one wish…
The first nun said with a blush, “This is slightly embarrassing, but I have to admit, while I did love serving the Lord, the vow of chastity was really tough on me. May I return to Earth for a weekend of unbridled lust, with the face and body of Angelina Jolie?”
Saint Peter said, “Your wish is granted!”
POOF
She disappeared and returned to Earth to fulfil her fantasy.
The second nun agreed and said, “I’d like the same, but may I return with the face and body of Jessica Alba?”
Saint Peter said again, “Your wish is granted!”
POOF
Away she went!
The third nun, an Italian girl, nodded her head in agreement, “I too would like the same, but may I return with the face and body of Alice Gan Pipalini?”
With a confused look, Saint Peter replied, “I’m sorry Sister, but I do not know of her? Is she a famous starlet?”
The Sister squealed with excitement, “Oh my, yes, yes she is! She’s the most famous one of them all! Why, look at this article I’ve been saving for years!”
And with that, she reached into her pocket and pulled out an old, yellow, folded up newspaper article, which she handed to him with shaking hands.
Saint Peter slowly unfolded the paper and read the headline aloud, "Alaskan Pipeline laid by 500 men in one week.”
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Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMef6Nnk3/
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMefjwxF4/
Adam Mint-
- Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59
The Jim Davison joke reminded me of this:-
30 odd year old lad who comes in the pub, one of bunch who my mate Gary worked with at one time, unfortunately lad is a bit not right,,, nobody takes piss out of him he's just one of the bunch,,, he admits to using prostitute's for sex cos he's got little chance of getting a girlfriend,,, he comes in pub one night says he's just been with two prostitute's, twins,,, one of lads asks how old were they, he replies 26 and 29 !!!!!
Campbell Brodie likes this post
innit-
- Posts : 2963
Join date : 2011-08-23
Forty Scousers arrived at heaven’s gates. St Peter says, “We’ve only got room for twelve, so decide amongst yourselves who’s coming in”.
Five minutes later St Peter says to God, “They’ve gone”. God replies “What all forty?”
St Peter replies “No, the bloody gates!”
Five minutes later St Peter says to God, “They’ve gone”. God replies “What all forty?”
St Peter replies “No, the bloody gates!”
Campbell Brodie likes this post
innit-
- Posts : 2963
Join date : 2011-08-23
Just spotted on eBay are they any good???Campbell Brodie likes this post
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