Story Time

My pal George, The one on the left of the garage shot, Sunday he is doing somebody a favour by taking them home in his wife's car,
On his way back he is doing a right turn into his street, BAM some pillock drives head on into him, Air bags and seat belts explode,
He thinks thats it ive gone to heaven, (Like iit exists), The dust setles and he see's a young lady sat in her car shocked, The boyfriend flew out of the car and rolled down the road, Feck this is serious, Police fire and ambulance turn up, The road is closed, This is the main road from Leeds to Ilkely moor bah tat, Everybody gets carted off to hospital, George's wife gets a phone call, The young lady has put her hands up, All her fault , I smell a rat, His wife comes to ours and tells me the story, I said how come boyfreind is rolling down the road ?,
Last night a knock on georges door, Said boyfreind stood there, George being George asks if he is ok, Something to tell George, They was arguing in the car, And she said right, I'm going to kill us, And drove straight into George, (Told you George was unlucky with women), The lad was going to the police, And he wanted to tell him first, Attempted murder, Blady hell, George said "Oh i'm not bothered, Just replace the wifes car" Mmm,

Feckin hell! Women drivers eh?

Mcqueen wrote:My pal George, The one on the left of the garage shot, Sunday he is doing somebody a favour by taking them home in his wife's car,
On his way back he is doing a right turn into his street, BAM some pillock drives head on into him, Air bags and seat belts explode,
He thinks thats it ive gone to heaven, (Like iit exists), The dust setles and he see's a young lady sat in her car shocked, The boyfriend flew out of the car and rolled down the road, Feck this is serious, Police fire and ambulance turn up, The road is closed, This is the main road from Leeds to Ilkely moor bah tat, Everybody gets carted off to hospital, George's wife gets a phone call, The young lady has put her hands up, All her fault , I smell a rat, His wife comes to ours and tells me the story, I said how come boyfreind is rolling down the road ?,
Last night a knock on georges door, Said boyfreind stood there, George being George asks if he is ok, Something to tell George, They was arguing in the car, And she said right, I'm going to kill us, And drove straight into George, (Told you George was unlucky with women), The lad was going to the police, And he wanted to tell him first, Attempted murder, Blady hell, George said "Oh i'm not bothered, Just replace the wifes car" Mmm,

Has he proposed yet.
I like a woman that knows what she wants.

Started off 3/4 of an hour early to take Mermaid to hospital in Kirkcaldy. Only about 13 miles away so normally 15 mins or so. Got on to the A92 and blox! standstill! Traffic accident about 1 1/2 miles ahead, all traffic getting diverted off at next junction. Sounds simple but this is the main road from Edinburgh and Forth road bridge to Kirkcaldy and east Fife and it's a dual carriageway. Anyhoo, half hour late for appointment but hospitals being hospitals, we just got in and Trish's name was called! (They were running late as well!). 2 hours and weight, height, BP, blood tests and urine samples plus ECG later, they still can't see anything wrong so we toddled off to get something to eat. Not our usual place 'cos traffic was murder and my BP was rising! I was behind an eejit doing 30mph on a 60mph road but as it was rush hour, I couldn't get past. I said "Feck it! I can only take so much" and headed off to a closer restaurant.
The meal was quite nice though.

Cor, reckon there were some mutterings under ones breath.

The air was blue and I was gritting my teeth together.

Did you have SNOW, then Mermaid.

Topdog wrote:Did you have SNOW, then Mermaid.

My nephew has a Range Rover, He has blue lights front and back, You cant see them unless there on, He dosent get stuck in traffic, I was with him once, Speeding along, Police car behind put his blue's and two's on, Nephew put his on, Police car just went passed and waved, Thought we was Special Branch or something, Deep joy, Hey, Dont try this at home children,

Was late for a train few years back, brother was taking me to Station for airport. I was going to fly out to join a ship, brother said "sod it I will take you to Gatwick. Got on a23 and there was an accident, stuck we was. Police car went whizzing up the bit that said works access only, brother threw me a high viz out of his side pocket, said chuck that on. Got to top of site bit and accident close by, old bill waved us out and escorted us past.