5 posters

The Irishman's Views on Mercs

BobMac: Posts : 517
Join date : 2012-03-22
Age : 77
Location : Chelmsford

Post n°1

The Irishman's Views on Mercs

by BobMac Fri 13 Jul 2012 - 19:24

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' toyer, sir" says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are those?, asks the attendant.

"They're called tees" replies Tiger.

"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?"? inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Fook me dead", says the Irishman, "Mercedes thinks of everything!".

Adam Mint

Adam Mint: Posts : 23101
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 59

Post n°2

Re: The Irishman's Views on Mercs

by Adam Mint Fri 13 Jul 2012 - 20:09

True story.

As said in an earlier post today I had Irish friends over staying with me for a few days, (her daughters graduation ceremony), we were out shopping and she (the mother) is trying perfumes, she sprays some perfume on a tester card, holds it up to my ear and says “listen to this one”, oh dear, thank feck she’s got other attributes...

The Irishman's Views on Mercs 4017463848

The Irishman's Views on Mercs 4017463848

The Irishman's Views on Mercs 1498946960

The Irishman's Views on Mercs 4248600970

them.

Mermaid

Mermaid: Posts : 10439
Join date : 2011-08-14
Location : Scotland

Post n°3

Re: The Irishman's Views on Mercs

by Mermaid Fri 13 Jul 2012 - 20:33

The Irishman's Views on Mercs 2485877773

Campbell Brodie

Campbell Brodie: Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland

Post n°4

Re: The Irishman's Views on Mercs

by Campbell Brodie Sat 14 Jul 2012 - 9:09

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer
and said, "Here's to
spending the rest of me Life,
between the legs of
me wife !"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast
of The night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly
and said, "John won the prize the other night at The pub with a
toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You
know, he's only been in there
twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come,
and the other time he fell asleep".