50 Shades of Nottingham

"Even though he only had one tattoo, I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours inbetween Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women. As he approached I could tell by his smile it was benefit day and my Fila tracksuit would be hanging off of the lampshade tonight. As I stood in line at the jobcentre, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of Weed, B. O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne, our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Tesco express. there was a tramp watching, but it did'nt matter it just just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same again ...........

ROFL

Yuk

Brilliant, I was sent a joke about it yesterday, I cant put it on here though, But it ended with the line, "I left her with a face like a plasterer's radio"

Covers up her spots dunnit Reg. Dwayne, reminds me of Wayne and Waynetta Slob. Doubt if they would get away with the brown baby sketch these days but it had me in tears.......

Perfectspecimen wrote:Covers up her spots dunnit Reg. Dwayne, reminds me of Wayne and Waynetta Slob. Doubt if they would get away with the brown baby sketch these days but it had me in tears.......

Frogmella!....

this made me laugh. BBC News
Yes I admit I am reading the trilogy and I am on book 3. It is badly written and to me a laugh. As for sexual I prefer the Maya Bank books.

Forum, got it all, don't know if you can still get it.

Seen the pics of the naked prince yet Mermaid? That should get you worked up. Hes a bit tall for you though, I have a couple of ladders you can borrow. Hang on, blox, batteries in camera need replacing, stand down.........

Perfectspecimen wrote:Seen the pics of the naked prince yet Mermaid? That should get you worked up. Hes a bit tall for you though, I have a couple of ladders you can borrow. Hang on, blox, batteries in camera need replacing, stand down.........

I don't fancy him. Yes I saw the naked pics gave me a laugh.

Imagine it, (Prince) "give us a cuddle Mermaid", "but you are naked Prince" (Prince) "come here", "OOOH Prince your hair smells nice", (Prince)" sorry Mermaid thought I wouldn't shave, let the paps see my Ginger Pubes"

Hmmmmm, I like ginger hair but never looks good on a bloke. Mermaid would be ideal for that shaving job, eye level innit....... And before she has a go at us this is still ON TOPIC!

:hang: you are in trouble

Harry Hewit innit, Safe bet, Charlie my arse

That will give you a sore ring Reg, sticking some charlie up yer dirt box.