And what did you say your hobby was...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-28332962

 

Are you handing in your .177 Diana air rifle Minty?   

I had a pistol, could fire, slugs, darts and balls, the slugs and darts had to be loaded individually, but it held about twenty or so of the balls which self loaded as you cocked it so you could fire them off pretty quick, don't know if your allowed to have such things nowadays...

Not allowed any fun nowadays...  Are catapults legal?   

I once shot mrs Palmer in the midrif when she was hanging out her washing   
She thought she had been stung, They wouldnt stand for it these days  
No TV in them days,  

Relative of mine took a long distance shot at a seagull which was perched on the chimney pot of a neighbours cottage, never thought he'd hit it but he did, feckin thing fell straight down the chimney, quick as a flash he's up on the roof dragging it out, don't know if shooting the bird was illegal but suffocating the old dear who lived in the cottage probably would have been...

Neighbour said to me my front room has blue bottles flying about in it   
Pull your gas fire out and you will find a dead bird said i,  sure enough dead magpie,
What made you think of that Reg ?,
Elementary, I shot the magpie thats why