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3rdforum
Mcqueen
Mermaid
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Campbell Brodie
zdeekie
10 posters
Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°926
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°928
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°929
Re: Humour.
A Wife wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?
“No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
“Well, I've seen wildlife eating them and they seem OK."
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog.
The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she
decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as
possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll
call for an ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can.
We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road.
The Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.
After the last one was done the doctor came out and said,
“Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum,
“I can't believe that guy!"
“What guy?"
"You know, that one who ran over Spot, he never even slowed down".
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?
“No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
“Well, I've seen wildlife eating them and they seem OK."
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog.
The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she
decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as
possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll
call for an ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can.
We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road.
The Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.
After the last one was done the doctor came out and said,
“Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum,
“I can't believe that guy!"
“What guy?"
"You know, that one who ran over Spot, he never even slowed down".
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°931
Re: Humour.
My level of patience...FB Vid
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°933
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°934
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°936
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°937
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°939
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°940
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°941
Re: Humour.
3rdforum-
- Posts : 22953
Join date : 2011-08-30
Age : 54
Location : Ireland
- Post n°942
Re: Humour.
Dogging!!
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°943
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°944
Re: Humour.
3rdforum-
- Posts : 22953
Join date : 2011-08-30
Age : 54
Location : Ireland
- Post n°945
Re: Humour.
My wife told me not to steal kitchen utensils, but it's a whisk I'm willing to take
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°947
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°948
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°949
Re: Humour.
Campbell Brodie-
- Posts : 59106
Join date : 2011-08-13
Age : 69
Location : Scotland
- Post n°950