Todays news.

Perfectspecimen wrote:Its not April Fools day so it must be serious. Government are going to make the wearing of military medals that you havent actually been presented with illegal and up to six months jail for offenders. Thats as pathetic as the twats who wear them. If anyone out there has a German U-boat medal please give me a shout, I'll wear it next November instead of a fecking poppy.

See my post in "Weird and strange news"...

Getting slightly pissed off with all the doom and gloom being peddled by all the 'remainers' out there. Now war criminal Blair has started spouting. Someone needs to shoot the cnut. Business is booming and all my kids have got jobs now, which is exactly why I voted to leave. British jobs for British people.  A weaker pound simply means we export more stuff, swings and roundabouts then. I understand Jagermeister have seen a drop in exports to UK, shame. The Whisky is going down well in Berlin. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-38103096

the world has gone pc mad.

Offenders then

Someone nicked Mel Bs cases from her car in Beverly Hills. No news day then.

Got a few story's about her, she lived round the corner from me

I would. She likes white sausage too.

You spent too much time with Kev 

I sunbathe nude

No news again apart from the Labour Party rambling on but hardly anybody will be interested in the commie idiots and I cetainly aint.
Right, lucky there are no gays in my village so young Terry could play football yesterday as normal.  
Thank God we dont live in Brighton.

Turns out a shop called Brighthouse are renting white goods to the unemployable and single mothers and are charging exhorbitant rents. Now why didnt I think of that?

The answer is in the company name!!!

Today we have footage of a farmer attacking 3 swans with a crook killing 2 of them. He got fined 7.5k, not enough. Also a truck driver attacking another trucker with a shovel on a Manchester motorway. They havent got him yet even though the truck is very distinctive and appears to have tarmac or something in the back, that will be one of our traveller types then wont it? Mr Nuttall will know how to deal with him.

Some chocolate bars are getting smaller. Jeez, Wagon Wheels will soon be bite-size then ffs. Never mind, I can lick a new fiver instead.

Toblerone's are getting wider valleys too...

I can get a full box in my mouth

sideways

 

Mcqueen wrote:I can get a full box in my mouth

no doubt

I lead the others follow

Read again

No need, I could predict what was coming next