The doctors surgery

Reg found a lump in his back pocket......  Janet removed it with the help of Lexis.

I've had a few lumps removed this year

I am not one to moan as you well now but for the past 3 days i have felt bad with man flu like symptoms, Mason has been throwing up and the other end all over the place, this morning i had the carpet cleaner out again, Taking Janet to work i had a sick bag ready in my pocket,
she asked how i felt and i said "My arse is bubbling like a pan of chips" she cringed and left it at that, anyway long story short i messed myself while stuck in traffic, you would think it couldnt be worse but i had the heated seats on number 3  I roared home through all the traffic and ran upstairs and dived in the shower, what a shambles  so since i opened my eyes this morning i have been cleaning one mess or another, Janet will be impressed i had the washing machine on, I will leave out the details.unless she asks why i smell of vanish 

Thats funny, just put my washing machine on........... Different reason though.

Been there after my ops...not nice is it?

eat some bananas

Hope you are now feeling better

crap story

Hospital appointment screwed up (my fault), get to hospital, hand over appointment letter to receptionist, she says your name ain't on computer, I say apart from appointment letter I got a text a couple of days ago confirming appointment and saying if I was unable to attend to contact you, receptionists says did you phone to say you were going to attend, I say no, she says but it says on letter you have to phone to confirm you are coming, I look at letter, I say on every other appointment letter I've had at that part of letter it normally reads "if you are unable to attend" phone this number, she says this departments different we ask you to confirm you are attending,,, feck, feck, feck, so now waiting on new date...

During my check-up I asked the Doctor,
"Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?
He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."

What a healthy bunch we are! No posts on this thread for 9 months. Good and bad news for me.... Last week on my 6 monthly post cancer check they found a lump on my tongue, nowhere near as big as the last one but they are gonna sort it out when I get back from Tenerife. On the plus side I had to attend Swaffham hospital yesterday to have a scan on my aorta. This is the main artery in the chest that goes to, or from (?) heart to lungs and limbs etc. They do this scan on peeps who reach 65. Anyway nurse said mine was 1.7cm which was excellent, anything less than 3cm being considered normal at our age. I can now happily go on ranting and raging without fear of busting a blood vessel.

Perfectspecimen wrote:What a healthy bunch we are! No posts on this thread for 9 months. Good and bad news for me.... Last week on my 6 monthly post cancer check they found a lump on my tongue, nowhere near as big as the last one but they are gonna sort it out when I get back from Tenerife. On the plus side I had to attend Swaffham hospital yesterday to have a scan on my aorta. This is the main artery in the chest that goes to, or from (?) heart to lungs and limbs etc. They do this scan on peeps who reach 65. Anyway nurse said mine was 1.7cm which was excellent, anything less than 3cm being considered normal at our age. I can now happily go on ranting and raging without fear of busting a blood vessel.

good news on the aorta but sorry to hear about the lump. Fingers crossed it is harmless

Well done Vince we could take bets on who go's first, loser gets nowt 

I still have one parent alive Reg, in fact she is 87 next week, been diabetic for donkeys years so there is hope for both of us.

Had my check up today by the 20st nurse

Mermaid's mum is 94 and still going strong.

She is not Scottish though is she?

Nope, she's a brummie. No accent though...