Humour.

A Man goes into a Baker's Shop and asks for 2 Bread Rolls.
The Shop Man picks them up with Tongs and puts them in a Brown Paper Bag.
He then asks for 2 Cakes the Shop Man picks them up with the Tongs and puts them in the Bag.
The Man says, "It’s nice to see, that you don’t Man- Handle the Food"..
The Shop Man says, "Sir. Nothing in my Shop is Handled by Human Hand"..?!?!?
He then noticed a Piece of String, hanging out of the Shop Man's Trousers and asks..???
"What is that Piece of String for"..????
The Shop Man says, "Well, that's for when I need a piss. I just pull on the String and my Old Boy, just pops out"..
"That’s OK", says the Customer, "But pray tell me, how do you put it back in"..???
"That’s not a problem", Says the Shop Man.
*
"I just use the Tongs"..

Reg would probably prefer caricol  

MAJOR MOTOR  MERGER
 
Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on - even if someone  tells him where it is and how to do it.
Rumour has it though, it can be a real bitch to start in the morning!
Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, & the curb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the boot increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status.
 
Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it when it becomes troublesome!

Took me a bit time that one,,,,,,,