The doctors surgery

Worse now. Have a letter to get me to top of queue in AE if not feeling better by tomorrow. Doc today was a fit looking bird. Late 20s I'd say. Took bloods. Wasn't able to produce urine sample. Eventually produced a few drops this afternoon.Eileen took a look, she's an urology nurse. It was very dark, cloudy and things floating in it. Went back to surgery with sample. That's when I got the letter for AE. Anyway, back to the examination this morning. She took bloods, ten and heartbeat etc. "Now Dermot, I want you to pop up on the table and drop your yoga. Then turn into the wall. Hey up, I thought, I'm. On a winner here and she must be shy , not wanting me to see her get her kit off. " this will be cold and uncomfortable" .feck it, I thought, we could do it over the end of the table if she wants. What followed has left me traumatized. A feckin prostate exam. s
Sweet Jesus!! She was rummaging around up there for ages!. I told her, if this went on much longer I'd have to buy her flowers. I'm still the worse for it. I'm afraid to shit in case my innards fall out. Don't see what the attraction is at all if your gay

3rdforum wrote:Worse now. Have a letter to get me to top of queue in AE if not feeling better by tomorrow. Doc today was a fit looking bird. Late 20s I'd say. Took bloods. Wasn't able to produce urine sample. Eventually produced a few drops this afternoon.Eileen took a look, she's an urology nurse. It was very dark, cloudy and things floating in it. Went back to surgery with sample. That's when I got the letter for AE. Anyway, back to the examination this morning. She took bloods, ten and heartbeat etc. "Now Dermot, I want you to pop up on the table and drop your yoga. Then turn into the wall. Hey up, I thought, I'm. On a winner here and she must be shy , not wanting me to see her get her kit off. " this will be cold and uncomtable" .feck it, I thought, we could do it over the end of the table if she wants. What followed has left me traumatised. A feckin prostate exam. s
Sweet Jesus!! She was rummaging around up there for ages!. I told her, if this went on much longer I'd have to buy her flowers. I'm still the worse for it. I'm afraid to shit in case my innards fall out. Don't see what the aytrasction is at all if your gay

   

Seriously though Dermo, I hope you get sorted out quickly pal.  

hope they can find what the problem is. Your story did make me laugh a wee bit

Fever broke an hour ago. Just feeling "clammy" now, nowhere near as bad as I was. Eileen said I had rigors. Never heard the term before. Its what happens when you get a very high fever. Your body temperature clock resets itself to a much higher temp. You end up with uncontrollable cold shivers even though you are running a temperature. Eileen took my temp this afternoon. 40.2C. She was debating on driving me into casualty.

you are in a bad way

She thought you were on your way to Rigor alright, Mr Mortice.   ......Feeling better after one up the back passage eh, closet will be open soon.

Anal behaviour.

Stomach cramps now. Prob from not eating for 4 days

I've got earache...

3rdforum wrote:Stomach cramps now. Prob from not eating for 4 days

She might have left her watch up your jacksie  

My left arm hurts where I scraped all the skin off the other day when I lean on the bar. Fortunately the more I drink the less I notice it.  

searcher wrote:

3rdforum wrote:Stomach cramps now. Prob from not eating for 4 days

She might have left her watch up your jacksie  

Judging by the amount of rooting about she did, it wouldn't surprise me!!!

Temp down to 38.9 a few minutes ago.

Cam has ear ache....Mermaid
Dermot stomach cramps....Marc Almond
Vince has arm ache....wanker

Bloods came back this morning. Doc has advised to go to A&E today. Says I'm quite ill. White Blood Cells low, elevated prostate readings, elevated glucose , low testosterone. Eileen is meant to go on nights tonight. Dont know what to do. Getting a little worried now. Temperature still up this morning. 

stay positive dermo. Thinking of you hope it is treatable and not serious

Don´t think you have much choice D, you must do what the Dr says and hopefully they can fix you quickly  

Got the results from bowel cancer screening, looks like I'm stuck on planet Earth for a bit longer. Also got a letter to attend a FREE NHS health check???????? Would one normally pay? I will see if I can find the time.

Good result Vince, Is what we dont need at this time of life is your arse falling out prematurely  

Perfectspecimen wrote:Got the results from bowel cancer screening, looks like I'm stuck on planet Earth for a bit longer. Also got a letter to attend a FREE NHS health check???????? Would one normally pay? I will see if I can find the time.

I never got Free NHS health check. Must want me to pop my clogs  

This one is funny, most of it is about preventing yourself pissing all over the place, apparently this is quite common when you reach 60 , you will also notice that they speak very slowly and loudly as they think you must be hard of hearing at that age, load of b/lox really  

What?.......    You are not old enough yet Mermaid. Cam will be next year, if the Scottish National Health Service hasnt gone bust by then. You will have to build your own aircraft carriers too, and subs. The Russians are looking at Scotland licking their lips, they need some new Northern bases.

Perfectspecimen wrote:What?.......    You are not old enough yet Mermaid. Cam will be next year, if the Scottish National Health Service hasnt gone bust by then. You will have to build your own aircraft carriers too, and subs. The Russians are looking at Scotland licking their lips, they need some new Northern bases.

 

pish                               

Vodka and haggis Lorne, mmm