The doctors surgery

Could have been worse Reg one of us could have pal'd up with that other twat who has a two bit Tenerife forum with .es at the end of it. Tried to steal this and Doreens and still thinks I am following him, yeah right.

Juba

You lost me and dont try to explain it, I dont give a flying 

Had 10 pints of blood removed a couple of weeks ago. Doctors receptionist rang today, can I come in at 4.50 today?   All afternoon I am thinking it must be bad news then. My doctors on holiday so I had to see another who turned out to have a lovely suntan already.   Blood pressure too high, blood sugar too high, BMI too high.... Cant remember the other MOT failures. Anyway I have to fast for 12 hours and go back for another test next week and tomorrow I have to make an appointment with a health trainer. They seem to be determined to keep me alive. 

You seemed fit enough to me I saw you walk to the bar and lift half litre glasses many times, good exercise.

Just back from hospital for knee MRI scan findings, doc says, three serious bits of damage, a couple of other damaged bits and three sorta minor things,,, big bit of cartilage partly detached and moving out of place from time to time, that's what's causing the extreme pain at times, lots of bits of broken cartilage floating around and ligaments torn to bits, that's the serious stuff, next on the list, tendons torn and something else I can't remember, and the minor stuff, a couple of cysts growing on the damaged bits and arthritis setting in,,, I say ok doc, but whys my knee sore,,, no I don't, I do know when to be serious sometimes... 

So what's the fix,,, 1: Live with it (not an option for me, two much pain)... 2: Kehole surgery to remove broken up bits of cartiledge (this is what I thought would have been outcome)... 3: Total knee replacement (wasn't expecting that one) ...

So, discussion follows, doc says he's a fraction from just saying knee replacement as damage is so extent, but is prepaired to do kehole surgery to remove loose bits of cartilage and have a better look around in there,,, then see what outcome is, could do no good at all, or buy a bit time unit a knee replacement will become an inevitable fix...

So have gone for that option, don't fancy becoming the bionic man just yet...

Sounds best course to me, replacement is a long haul, better off with your own bits i think

Yep, like teeth. 30% of mine are either missing or broken but I can live ok, dont want no false ones. Saves on toothpaste anyway. 

Perfectspecimen wrote:Yep, like teeth. 30% of mine are either missing or broken but I can live ok, dont want no false ones. Saves on toothpaste anyway. 

Me too!

Can still do apples okay. Got one of those food processors anyway, only really use it at the moment to make breadcrumbs but I'm sure it will come in handy one day. 

YOU'D BE BETTER OFF WITH A SET OF SKELETON KEYS, MINCE

Right, I am fully booked up with medical appointments now, they are clearly trying to keep me alive.   Early this morning I had to go to have some blood taken. Then this afternoon I get a phone call, come to surgery tomorrow to consult with Health Trainer....... 5 minutes later another phone call. Come to surgery next Tuesday, we are going to fit you with a blood pressure monitor. And on Friday I have to go to Kings Lynn hospital to find out why only one ear works.   Jeez, I'm a walking NHS moneypit........

Small time

Yeah but as far as I can tell there is bugger all wrong with me, apart from the ear that is......

OK, went to see my own personal health trainer today at the surgery, lovely young Portugeuse by the name of Telma Delgado.   Nice. I now have a nice little list of stuff I must not consume..... Tobacco, alcohol, sugar, salt, tea, coffee, white bread, fat off meat, (you know, the tasty bit) cheese, butter and also cakes, biscuits and crisps. Luckily for me I rarely partake of the last 3 but the rest of it pretty well sums up my diet. A slightly smaller list of stuff that I must consume..... Vegetables, well I aint Scottish so I eat those already. Water, yuk, tasteless rubbish. Fruit, rarely eat any but seem to remember reading somewhere that the sugars in fruit are not so good? The blood pressure was then taken, 153, jeez, up 5 points from last week then. 140 is too high she tells me, I must get it down......... She then says if I am working I shouldnt lift my arms up above my head because it increases blood pressure. BINGO. What was I doing this morning just before seeing her? Laying under my van tightening up bolts.   Problem solved then, all I need to do is as little as possible and walk about gently with my arms low and eat fruit. Just like a feckin gorilla....... 

None of the above will work You have a sell by date marked down for you already,  so stick with what you do now and enjoy what little life you have left 

Thank you wise Sir.

Women have use by dates....

Thin ice. :-)

Must be the Juba in me

Topdog wrote:Women have use by dates....

It's the "best before" you've got to watch with that product...